Something in the Midst
by SammieeJay
Summary: Watershed {swing set fantasy/prediction} "Well, maybe in the end we're all supposed to lose the ones we love..."


**_A/N_****:** So, I decided to write a 'prediction' (more like what I would love to happen on the swings) for watershed, and this is how it turned out... :) I actually have chapter two planned so if you enjoy it, review/follow/favourite/PM me/Tweet me or w/e. I'm babbling, oops. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy. :* S.

_**Dedicated**_ to CeCe because she kinda made me dedicate it to her ;) but I love her so oh well. LOVEBALLS.

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_**Disclaimer**_: I don't own the show "Castle" or Katherine Beckett, or Richard Castle or anything other than my writing. :p

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_**Something in the Midst. **_

Alone. It wasn't comfortable. It was quiet, and no one could see how he felt. No one cared what was underneath his best-selling writer bravado, and he was alone. Or so he thought. He dug his heels into the ground a little bit more, and flexed his legs, pushing himself softly back and forth on the swing, letting the thoughts in his head continue to spin. Tilting his head backwards, remembering what Martha had said earlier on that day...

"Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or, even in a years time...but eventually, things will look up. You will get better and be able to look back and say with relief, 'We made it', kiddo." He let a broken sigh escape his pursed lips, and replayed those same words over and over, trying his hardest to believe that it was possible for just one second. But, he knew it wasn't possible. He knew that she would take the job offer, hell, he would too if he was in her position but it still stung a little. What if she really did pick the job over their relationship? He'd shadowed her for four years, waiting for her to realise that he wanted her. Or, to simply realise her own feelings towards him, and now that they were finally together...the thought of them being apart again hurt. He let his imagination run wild, searching for any positivity he could muster, and he finally settled on the theory 'An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. And when life is dragging us back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch us into something great, so we need to just focus and keep aiming.' He ran his hands through his hair and rested his elbow above his head on the swing chains, feeling the coldness of the metal seep through the cotton of his shirt.

Her heart spiralled into a deep abyss; shattering the warmth and confidence from within, the feeling of security quickly diminishes - wherein shame and confusion fills in their absence insider as she saw him sat there, gently tilting back and forth on the swing, his arms now back down by his sides and his head hung slightly. She stopped next to him, stepping gently with thought; not wanting to make him aware she was in his presence, before she reached him. So with an outstretched arm, she reached forward and perched her hand upon his shoulder - her fingers spread out whilst the other hand got placed on top of his on his knee. His hands were warm, but his heart was colder than December. He always seemed to be simple to figure out, but his eyes told her a whole different story today; he was the one casting the mystery, instead continuing on his quest to peel all the layers to the Beckett onion; but the harder he tried, the layers kept growing back. Slowly, and gracefully, she perched down in the opposite direction on neighbour the swing. It was ironic, he thought. They were sat facing different ways on the swing set, and inevitably they were heading in different directions in their relationship. And, despite himself, he sighed.

"C-Castle..." Beckett croaked out; her voice trembling, while she tapped her feet nervously on the ground, avoiding any form of eye contact like the plague, but when he didn't acknowledge her; through choice as opposed to choice, she lifted her head to study his profile. There was a nagging voice in the back of her mind, asking her what she really wanted, and she looked at Castle. Right now? Right now she just wanted him to kiss her forehead and tell her that he is lucky to have her, for him to tell her that he will support her in whatever option she decided. So, she spoke more firmly; hoping he'd acknowledge her presence next to him this time.

"Rick." It was ripped from the back of her throat, the word coming out rough and low whilst her eyes stung with unshed tears, which were inevitably soon to fall. Although he had heard her before, something felt different in the way she addressed him this time, and he reluctantly turned his head in a decelerate manner, and as he caught a glimpse of her eyes he found he couldn't stop himself.

"I still remember, Beckett." It was low, and could be described as bordering the edge of croaky. "The first time we kissed...I initiated it. You seemed marginally shocked, and I remember the element of force I kissed you with, it was a kiss we shared as a distraction method, but I hope you know that was one of the greatest moments in my life. Every day...every night after that kiss, I just thought about you. About us. I lost count; a blur of lips, and tastes, the scent of cherry infiltrating my nostrils, and people who never mattered even then in a fruitless attempt to find a pair of lips that rivalled yours. But I never found them." He admitted, his eyes focussing on a point far behind Kate's left shoulder, his blue eyes glistening as the memories flooded back into his head. "And then the second time we kissed, it was you who initiated it, and you seemed nervous; I think. But again, the passion was still there, and I wanted you. Hell, I wanted you so bad. Then you said you just wanted me...oh god, it was indescribable. And all throughout that night, our first one shared together, I realised that yours are the only lips I could ever want for the rest of forever." He finished, as he got choked up; a lump forming in his throat as he came to the realisation that he could possibly only have the memories and no more to come.

"Castle, I-" Beckett began; her hand going out to reach for Castle's, but got interrupted as he began to speak again.

"Let me finish." It was short, and she gave a small nod. She couldn't help but worry, maybe he was giving up on her, after all? It would sure have made her decision a lot easier than what it had been.

"To tell you the truth, Kate...I don't have much to offer. But still, I'll give you everything I've got, even if its barely anything at all. I don't mean money, the Hamptons, meaningless acts like that... I mean I'll give you thoughtful conversations, long hugs, romantic nights, someone to talk to; someone who will always be there, someone to care for, a hand to hold, somebody to lean on. And if that's not good enough, Beckett...just know you have all of me, and I truly hope that's enough, because one day, I want to marry you, Kate...have your children. I want all of it. I want the pointless bickering, the long walks, the late night phone calls, the good morning texts. I want cute pictures with you, to hold your hand, to make food for you, call you baby. The joking, the wrestling, the fights because I call you my muse once too often, the long 'how I feel' texts after we make up; like the one after me breaking your vase. I want to be one of those inseparable best friend couples where people say 'What, are you two still together?' That's what I want. With you. Only you..." On the last word, Castles voice began to quiver, his eyes becoming increasingly blurred- mirroring Kate's which were beginning to overspill. Cupping her cheek in one hand whilst putting a finger from the other under her chin, he lifted her head so he could look her in the eyes. Once more, he let his warm breath wash over the soft skin of her face. "And, I know that people, including me, think that holding on is what makes us stronger...but maybe it's letting go." He said softly, "So, if that's what you want, Beckett...then I'll support you." He finally finished and had to swipe fast at his cheek to wipe away a stray tear.

"Well, maybe in the end we're all supposed to lose the ones we love. But till the end, and the decision is no longer my own, I will fight for us." Beckett whispered, looking up into Castle's blue eyes, which looked back at her hazel ones with a glint, and, if it wasn't for their situation, he would have thrown in a comment such as 'maybe making out for a few minutes would help us figure things out...', but he thought better of it, and stopped himself; instead just studying her features. He only then realised that she just said she loved him, and that she'd fight for them, and he didn't attempt to stop the tear that ran down his cheek in sync with the tears falling down Beckett's.

"I didn't accept the job offer, Castle." She told him, taking his hand in hers. "I couldn't leave you and the guys. You're my family. Martha and Alexis too." She spoke, looking up at him and then he pulled her up off the swing and against his body and kissed her. It was magic, the way his lips connected with hers; moulding perfectly together. It was right, and somehow, among all of the dizziness and the clinging to him like a life line, something inside her changed, never to be reversed. This new feeling of content, of feeling certain, could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, she was content to feel his breath come and go with her own soft breaths. They pulled apart as they felt the stinging blades of the rain against their skin, soaking them to the bone as it continued to get heavier; the droplets trickling down their faces - their foreheads pressed together. The rain quenched the silent thirst of the soil and plants around the swing set, and with each drop the leaves became more of green, the soil grew darker, and the place glowed with health and vitality.

"I love you, Rick." Beckett whispered, her breath washing over his face; a mixture of cherry and apple, and he smiled at her words, lifting his right hand and resting it on her cheek as he, in turn, whispered.

"I love you too, Kate. Always."

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REVIEW? (: Hope you enjoyed it. ok ok xo


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